I’ve been missing. There’s a story behind it. Here it is.

When you are responsible for the care of someone else, be they canine, equine or human, there are times when you inevitably fail them. If you are critical in your self-assessment of this care, you no doubt can find fault frequently.

I pulled a doozy recently when I misdiagnosed Samantha’s virus. Umm, it was appendicitis. She had an emergency appendectomy on Thursday, April 21. In my defense, when she seemed to be suffering from her second bout of the fever/upset stomach bug that was making its rounds, I did call the pediatrician’s office.  The nurse told me that the current virus running through the area was particularly virulent and was striking quite a few kids more than once. She did say that I was more than welcome to bring Samantha in to be checked out. Alas, not wanting to be that mom (again) who dragged her kid to the pediatrician only to be told, “It’s a virus,” I decided to just wait it out.

Samantha spent the first two days of her school vacation week on the couch, which should have been my first clue that something was truly amiss. As we know, when this kid doesn’t go to the barn, there is something not right in the world.

On Wednesday she rallied and did ride, but she was incredibly pale. Thursday I was home with her and after a very short period of morning activity she laid in a chair and cried, saying that she had a sharp pain in her belly. That did it. Light finally dawned on marble-mom head. Off to the doctor we went, with the boy in tow.

Samantha’s doctor is a wonderful woman, kind and reassuring. So much so that when she shared her suspicion it took me a minute to catch up. In her friendly, sing-songy voice she stated, “Yeah, I think what I’m going to do is have you run her up to the hospital and have an ultrasound so that we can rule out appendicitis.”

Come again? Excuse me? Say what? I was finally able to say, “Oh, OK, would you please call ahead to let them know that we’re coming? Thank you, so very much.” What I was thinking was: “&^%%*^%@!” “Doh!” “Of course it’s appendicitis.” “&*^^&%”

Luckily, Samantha really didn’t have much of a clue what that meant. My next challenge was retrieving the boy from the waiting room and telling him. Why would this be a concern? Here’s why:

Me: “OK, Ethan, Samantha needs a test, and they don’t have the special machine to do the test here, so we’re going to have it done up at the hospital.”

The boy: “IS SHE GOING TO DIE? MOM, IS SHE GOING TO DIE?”

Yes, now everyone in the waiting room is staring at us. Oh, joy. As I gritted out, “No, Ethan your sister is not going to die,” we left the doctor’s office.

Let’s just say that the day got worse. Luckily, a friend was able to come get the boy, who spent the rest of the afternoon practicing with the St. Michael’s College lacrosse team. It doesn’t matter to him that he’s only 10; clearly they need him.

Poor Samantha. Through the tears, the painful waiting, two days in the hospital and a week on the couch her only concern was getting better in time for her first horse show. I did not go on a business trip to Chicago and Grand Rapids, Mich. I also spent a week near the couch, getting my little pumpkin (who is now officially taller than me) whatever she wanted.

Our first horse show was at GMHA in Woodstock, Vt., on May 21, and this was also supposed to be Samantha’s first three-foot horse show. No pressure! We talked about it, and I told her that if she did nothing but hack around the show grounds that would be great, and I would be happy and proud of her. Do the warm-ups if you feel up to it. Try one round of hunters. Don’t put any pressure on yourself. You had surgery one month ago.

In theory, she was with me. But once we got to the show, it was game on. She had a good warm-up day on Friday and decided to “try” the 12-14 equitation division on Saturday. Her flat class was, OK, it was a disaster. Mondavi thought it was a race, not a class, and while Samantha did a great job controlling him, there was no ribbon for that achievement. She made up for it by winning her first over fences class with a beautiful trip and placing third in the second over fences class, becoming reserve champion in the division.  Her first-ever attempt in the NEHC medal was flawless (mom’s opinion), and she placed fourth out of 15 very competitive riders.

Sunday wasn’t quite as stellar—she was tired, and it showed. There were a few threes in the two-stride that made Samantha’s blood boil. I giggled—but only when she couldn’t see me. She had already accomplished so much there was no way to disappoint. We had a two-hour ride home for me to convince her of that, regardless of how she felt about her trips on Sunday.

I remained, as always, grateful that she talked the whole way home. She accomplished what she set out to do—she did not miss the first horse show of the season—the one we waited so long for. And now, we have a whole season in front of us.

Wishing you all a healthy and happy show season. Here we go!

This article was first published on The Chronicle of the Horse website.

The third group of amateur adult competitors entered the exposition hall on Friday in Springfield, Mass., to compete for the NEHC Adult Medal Final in the 18-22-year-old division. The second day of competition at the New England Equitation Championships featured 84 riders from seven states.

The challenging 11-fence course provided no easy options with broken lines, an end line fantail oxer that was the downfall of many horse and rider teams, and two one-stride in-and-outs. Riders had several options throughout the course to show off for the judges with tight inside turns.

Twenty-two riders made it back for a second trip, with the cut-off score set at a fairly high 75.25. The top five riders after Round 1 in order were Mariel Saccucci and Amanda Groher tied for first, (both with scores of 86.66), Rachel Crown, 84.50; Emma Johnson, 84.33; and Juliana Connors, 81.83.

The second round did little to change the rankings for most riders, with a few notable exceptions. Sarah Flink of Charlestown, Mass., aboard Logan, had a first round score of 76.00 and a second round score of 84.00, for a total of 160.00, moving from 18^th to 7^th place overall. Eileen McNamara of Weston, Mass., had a similar experience, with a first round score of 75.83, bettering it to 79 in Round 2, moving up from 19^th to 10^th place overall.

The top two riders completed Round 2 with .5 difference between them. Saccucci scored an 88.33 for a total of 174.99, and Groher a 88.83 for a total of 175.49. Both riders were asked to return to the ring for additional testing. The crowd waited expectantly having seen what the judging committee had put yesterday’s riders through.

Each rider was handed a copy of the course and the test was read aloud. Riders were asked to hand gallop fence 1, trot fence 2, counter-canter fence 7, continue down the long side, demonstrate two changes of lead and walk back into line.

Mariel Saccucci aboard Dimity Sharp’s chestnut horse Golden Rod went first. Returning to the trot after hand-galloping fence 1 was a challenge, and Saccucci managed it with just a few steps to spare. She demonstrated a lovely counter-canter and two beautiful flying changes down the long side.

Amanda Groher, of South Glastonbury, Conn., aboard the beautiful Czar-Z began her test. Her first two fences were great. She had some trouble with the counter-canter and demonstrated her lead changes from the walk to the canter before returning to the center of the ring.

It was not clear who the winner would be. Amanda had the higher score, but Mariel had performed better in the final test. We waited while all of the other riders were pinned. Finally, the reserve champion was announced: Amanda Groher. Champion: Mariel Saccucci. It was a day of outstanding riding.

As the adults clear out, the juniors pile in on Saturday. Today will feature open equitation classes, a warm-up of sorts for tomorrow’s main event: the NEHC Medal Final, where 258 riders are expected to compete. Many riders are looking forward to tonight’s “Challenge of the States,” where Saturday’s top riders will represent their state in a parade and competition. Also today is the practicum portion of the NEEC Junior Horsemanship Class.

Rider, Horse, Total Combined Score, Rounds 1 & 2

1. Mariel Saccucci, Golden Rod, 174.99, 30 points
2. Amanda Groher, Czar-Z, 175.49, 13 points
3. Rachel Crown, Nesbit, 168.16
4. Emma Johnson, Burberry, 166.58
5. Juliana Connors, Touche, 165.99
6. Emily Howe, My Mr. Darcy, 162.66
7. Sarah Flink, Logan, 160.00
8. Elysse Ruschmeyer, 159.99
9. Miranda Lekacos, Welt To Do, 157.74
10. Eileen McNamara, Neiko, 154.83

This article was originally published on The Chronicle of the Horse website.

Each horse show season, if you’re lucky, you’ll witness a few golden moments. The short-stirrup rider at her first horse show winning a ribbon. The kid who never pins finally getting a blue ribbon. The junior in her last year of eligibility qualifying for the finals. These moments send a shiver up your spine and bring a tear to the eye. They’re all the more poignant when you know the kid, the family, the trainer or the horse involved.

I was lucky enough to witness a golden moment this past weekend at our local horse show, hosted at our home barn, Missy Ann Stables. I was working the in-gate, one of those jobs (like braiding) that I started doing in my teen years and find myself still doing at 40 (what is wrong with me?).

It’s a big step for a junior equitation rider to go from fence heights of 2’6”-2’9” to 3’-3’3”. Many riders on our local circuit have made the leap this year, some more successfully than others. I’ve talked to moms and dads who haven’t adjusted to the step up as well as their kids and mounts. A three-foot course is big. Suddenly, your kid is navigating in and outs, tight roll back turns and complicated tests—and this is the same kid who claims not to know how to make a bed or a sandwich.

On Saturday, one of the young riders who recently made this leap competed in the NEHC Junior Medal class. At the last Missy Ann Stables show in June, this rider went off course two classes in a row, leaving her trainer literally speechless. I tried not to laugh, but it was funny. It was just a few schooling jumping classes and completely out of character for this experienced rider. Hey, everyone has a day like that. The look of total disbelief on the trainer’s face killed me—I love this trainer and held back the chuckles as she searched for words.

Today, our young rider, Piper, was competing in the NEHC Junior Medal class for only the fourth or fifth time. Piper repeated the course back to her trainer, Ashley, multiple times before entering the ring. I heard the phrase, “one more time,” at least four times. Piper went in and had a really great trip. Her horse pulled a rail, so Ashley told her to go back to the trailer rather than hang around for the test.

The class was small, and when the judge relayed the test, the riders’ numbers and order of go over to me on the radio, Piper was on top, but no where to be seen. The trainer was yet again speechless, but not motionless, making a light-speed jaunt back to the trailer. Piper’s horse was untacked, but thankfully not in the middle of being bathed or unbraided, only by a few minutes.

In no time, Piper was back on and trotting back to the ring, as the other three riders completed their test. As her jacket was buttoned and boots dusted off, Piper repeated back to Ashley: “Canter fence 1, canter fence 4, trot fence 6, halt. Sitting trot out of the ring.”

One deep breath later, Piper was in the ring. There had to be 20 or so of us collectively holding our breath—friends, family and barnmates. Piper rode well under pressure and nailed the test. The other three rides were also solid, so no one was a sure bet to take the class.

The judge got on the radio and relayed the results. Piper won the class and in doing so, qualified for the New England Equitation Championships in Springfield, Mass., this fall.

This was a golden moment. There were tears—mom and rider, even the trainer teared up. I can’t deny that my own eyes filled and the hair on the back of my neck went up. Here was a kid who had worked hard, faced a challenge and performed wonderfully.

Our sport constantly forces kids to face challenges—even when they aren’t totally prepared. There will be times when the result isn’t what we hoped. But sometimes, it’s a golden moment. And when that happens, it’s a moment to be cherished and remembered.

Recently returned from a horse show, I reviewed the pictures I had taken. I was planning to share them with the usual suspects: grandparents, friends, the owner of the horse we’re leasing, the parent of the other rider I had taken to the show, etc.

I downloaded the photos from the borrowed camera (a very nice Cannon) and was excited to view the results of four days of snapping away. I knew the results would be good, because the mom who owns this camera always comes back from horse shows with excellent pictures.

Hmmmm, OK, let’s see…Here’s one of Samantha in the temporary stall with Mondavi, here’s one of Rachel with Misty…their heads seem to be a little fuzzy. Here’s one of our trainer Tara from the back…but her hind end is all distorted…why don’t the pictures of me come out like that?  OK, beginner’s nerves, that’s all. I hadn’t become quite comfortable enough with a new camera, just working out the kinks.

(For a complete photo album of my flawed shots, click this link to Chronicle of the Horse).

OK, scrolling through, ah! Here are some pictures of the girls in the jumper ring. Yes! Here are a few good shots of Tara on the ground walking with the girls from the warm-up area to the show ring. This is one of my standard go-to shots and it looks great! Except, yeah, I already have about 62 of this exact same photo, just from different horse shows. Oh well, who’s counting?

OK, now we are into the good stuff! Here are Rachel and Misty in the jumper ring—nice! There they are on the landing, Rachel looking ahead to her next jump. Not too bad if I do say so myself! OK, the next one is Rachel and Misty about two strides after the jump. That’s OK, no worries. Next: ummmm…oh! There’s Rachel and Misty in the bottom of the picture frame, well you can’t really see the kid’s or the pony’s legs. For a second there I thought I had just taken a picture of a random trailer and the water tower in the background.

OK, more jumping pictures. Gee, there’s Misty’s face, and just her face, almost looking suspended in space, but I can also see the jump. No Rachel, or other body parts of the pony to speak of. There’s one of the pony’s hind end and tail going over the jump. Maybe if I put those two pictures together, I’ll have something to show Rachel’s mother. Oh, this one is nice, it’s a close up of Misty jumping, oh, but wait, Rachel’s head is not in the picture. Whoopsie!

The girls absconded with the camera, and one of them (they would not ‘fess up, which probably saved their little lives) took a truly excellent picture of me braiding Misty. The braids look quite nice. The back fat on the braider? Not so much.

I didn’t do a whole lot better taking pictures of my own kid. There are quite a few of Samantha and the Mo Man one stride before the jump and one stride after. Apparently this picture taking thing requires skills that I am lacking. There’s one in particular where it took me a full minute to figure out exactly what it was that I took a picture of…and then I finally spotted Mondavi’s nose in the far right corner. No laughing!

By the third day of the show I smartened up and took some nice candids. There we go! I talked to Rachel’s mom on the phone. She said, “I can’t wait to see the pictures,” in a sing-song voice. I said, “You’re breaking up, I’ll try you again later.”

Paging Jenna Leigh Teti. I am so busted!

What’s your favorite horse show? I bet you can tell me in five seconds flat. Why is it your favorite? Some of you will say it’s the food—the caramel apples at the New England Equitation Finals! Others might say Lake Placid because of the super intense grand prix, and the fact that there’s so much to do, see and eat in the lovely town. Or, maybe your favorite is HITS Ocala because you’re out of the cold and the food is good!

Whether it’s the footing or the nice shady spots, the permanent stalls or the funny announcer who gets everyone’s name wrong, everyone has a favorite horse show.

This weekend, our barn is hosting a two-day show. It’s part of the VHJA circuit. While we may not be on the top of anyone’s “favorite” list yet, we’re hoping to reach that distinction soon.

This is the second show ever held at Missy Ann Stables and the first time most of us involved have helped to plan a horse show. As we entered the final stretch—I (again) realized that my Emily Post day job trickles over to my horse life. At Emily Post, we’ve just released an entertaining book, “Great Get-Togethers.” The book is a great resource and confidence builder for the newbie or reluctant hostess.

Alas, there is no such guide for those of us planning a horse show. Hosting a horse show in many ways is a lot like hosting a big party, say a wedding reception. I spent one summer working on the updated edition of Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette. I swore I would hire a wedding planner when Samantha got married or pay her to elope. The amount of work and decision-making it takes to plan a wedding is mind-boggling. I’ve learned that planning a horse show is not much different.

Here are just a few similarities between planning a horse show and planning a wedding:

It takes a year to plan.

If you don’t start planning your wedding a year in advance, all the good reception sites are booked and your preferred house of worship may not even be available. If you don’t plan your horse show early enough, all of the good judges, announcers, secretaries and stewards are already booked. You’re not having a horse show, and certainly not one that’s going to end up on anyone’s “favorite” list, without these folks.

It takes a team.

Bridezilla quickly finds herself alone, without gleeful bridesmaids by her side to help her address envelopes, plan seating charts and keep track of RSVPs. A good horse show manager is organized and puts together a dedicated team of people each assigned to do specific tasks.

Plan for the comfort of your guests.

Many brides overlook this important fact when they think about their “dream wedding.” In the dream, guests are just accoutrements, there to fill out the landscape and of course, provide generous gifts from a variety of bizarre and expensive gift registries. In the land called reality, you need to plan your wedding and your horse show with the comfort of your guests in mind. For a horse show that means thinking about designing a prize list so that people don’t do one class in the morning and then wait around for five hours to finish their division. It also means setting up large enough areas for parking and warm-ups. And, of course, having a variety of good food available.

When the day comes, enjoy it.

Regardless of all the preparation, not everything will go according to plan. The bride may trip going down the aisle. Your Aunt Lucy may insist on doing the Macarena at your wedding reception. At the horse show, a judge may show up 20 minutes late, the weather may stink, the radios may only work intermittently—but with a little bit of luck, the day will be a success. Take the time to enjoy it.

Brides do have one advantage. Hopefully, they only plan one wedding. If horse show managers do it right, they’ll be planning more horse shows, the kind that people start to remember as their favorite.

This article originally appeared on The Chronicle of the Horse website.